We Deserve The Sun 2/5When I was elevenafter Saphren moved out and married a great gal named Andie, leaving just me and Aloxia to live with our parentsmy mother, father, Aloxia, and I, went to San Antonio, Texas for a week to visit extended family. Family I've never met, and I never even knew about them for about ninety percent of my lifetime by the age of eleven. They were nice enough, I guess. I was a very withdrawn, shy, anti-social kid. My mom, sister, and I ended up staying in Texas, living with my paternal grandmother, for a year for various reasons. I began my adventure into the world of the internet that year in two-thousand-five. I met a girl on there. Two years older than me. And she helped send me down my dark descent into madness and depression.
My grandmother was strict. She was an army wife and a strict, no-fooling-around kind of woman. She was a good person, but she was too hard on me. Like I said previously, I never learned chores or bathing regularly or anything like that,
We Deserve The Sun 1/5We Deserve The Sun
S. J. C.
May 12, 2012
You don't know me, I don't know you. We're strangers. But sometimes strangers can be your priests.
When I first started getting help for my depression, I went to a doctor and sat there, awkward and silent. After explaining my depression, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and everything, the doctor prescribed me pills. I remember the doctor looking me in the eye and telling me, "These pills are not miracles. They will not fix, cure, or heal anything. They will just make it easier for you to be able to fix, cure, and heal." I knew that. I really did. But after being so broken inside for so long, you start to think you deserve a miracle. It always rains hardest on those that deserve the sun. I don't want to sound selfish or conceited, but I think I deserve the sun.
There was me, the youngest, then Aloxia, my older sister, and then my oldest brother, Saphren. Six years separated me and Alox, and thirteen years separated me and Saph. I was a
Hello, My DarlingHello, my darling,
It's nice to see you again.
By and by the years have gone.
Oh, my darling it has been too long.
I have waited for you
And now this is my dream come true.
I have you in my arms again,
Like we knew we would be
In the end.
Since you left for Heaven
I have changed and grown,
But I always longed to be with you.
I was so alone.
Our daughters have changed
Since you've gone above.
They are now with some
Gentlemen that they love.
I bought you the house
You've always dreamed of.
Now we'll watch it together
From up above.
We'll hold hands for eternity,
Staying together like we knew we'd be.
It was worth it, how long it's been.
Hello, my darling,
It's nice to see you again.
We'll sit high in the sky,
Watching our family below.
And together we will witness
The world slowly change and grow.